Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Informer vs The Question Picks Challenge Week 14: Thursday Night Football

The Houston Texans have lost 10 straight games for the first time in franchise history.

Can you feel the excitement in the air for the Thursday Night Football game featuring the 2-10 Houston Texans against the 3-9 Jacksonville Jaguars?

In case the thought of Case Keenum squaring off against Chad Henne in front of hundreds of rowdy Jacksonville fans doesn’t tickle your fancy; here are ten reasons why tonight’s game is a must watch.

10. The “New Brett Favre” also known as Texans quarterback Case Keenum.

Seriously, watch how much fun number . . . Wait a second . . . What number is Keenum? The Informer honestly has no idea. For the sake of the article, why don’t we just say he is number one because that is where he ranks in The Informer’s heart.

9. Did you know the Jaguars have not won a home game in over a year? Really, the last time the hundreds of home fans saw a Jags win was November 25th 2012.

Doesn’t a small, but rabid, home crowd rooting to see their first win in over a year sound enticing?

8. During the 2012 NFL Season Andre Johnson played two games against Jacksonville collecting 17 catches for 294 yards.

The interesting thing about these numbers, Johnson only had 21 yards on three receptions in the first meeting, while recording 14 catches for 273 yards in the second game.

Well this year Johnson has already played the Jaguars once; a game in which he was held to six yards on two catches.

So if history is going to repeat itself this year, then tonight Johnson should record somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 catches for 288 yards.

The Informer doesn’t know about you, but if a guy is going to have a 15 catch 288 yard day The Informer is going to be watching.

7. Do the words Cecil Shorts the Third mean anything to you?


Okay well here is a quote from the Jaguars wide receiver anyways: “It is the NFL, you’re going to win or lose each week.”

The third Cecil Shorts makes a very valid point, except of course that he forgot about the dreaded tie. Don't worry Cecil, former Philadelphia Eagles QB Donovan McNabb once made the same mistake.  

Anyway, with these two teams do not rule out the first ever 0-0 tie.

(Editors note - Technically on November 7th 1943 the New York Giants and the Detroit Lions tied 0-0, so it would not be the first time ever. Sorry for misleading everyone. The Informer was just pointing out scoreless ties do not happen very often, therefore watching one would be fairly exciting.)

6. With a win Jacksonville will have their first three game winning streak since 2010. The Informer knows exactly what you are thinking: The Jags won three games in 2010?

5. Did you know that in the Texans long illustrious history (12 years) they have never lost 11 straight games? So if you tune in to watch this train wreck, you might see something that has never happened before.

4. There is always a possibility that Matt “Pick-Six” Schaub gets in the game. That sentence alone is enough to get The Informer in front of the television.

3. For the off chance that J.J. Watt and the Houston coaches reenact this scene from The Program before kick off.

To be perfectly clear, The Informer would not care one bit if Watt was “ALLEGEDLY” using deer urine, HGH, horse semen cream, uppers, downers, poppers, needles, roids, Creatine or something that Jose Canseco has yet to discover to enhance his performance.

As long as he acts just like Lattimer than The Informer is a happy man.

2. The Informer said it in his Monday afternoon reactions article, but he will say it again here; if you were one of the people who drafted Ben Tate in the 12th round of your fantasy football draft this year, then tonight is the game is your fantasy Super Bowl.

Think about it, Tate in prime-time against a defense that would be considered suspect at best? In the words of pro wrestling great Ric Flair: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

1. Keep in mind that The Informer in no way condones illegal gambling, placing wagers with guys named Frankie Fingers, or any sort of action that could be grounds for spending several years of your life in federal prison.

But . . . with that said, there is absolutely no reason to watch this game unless you are quote “Invested” in one of these two teams.

So with that in mind, here are The Informer and The Question’s picks for the worst Thursday Night game in at least two weeks.


“The Question”

This game is so terrible I am not even going to pretend that there is any logical reasoning behind my pick.

I am taking the Texans because I am contractually obligated to make a selection.

Pick: Texans -3.5

“The Informer”

The Informer is taking the Jaguars because the NFL picks rule says whenever there are two terrible teams playing on a short week you always want to take the home underdog (Yes, The Informer just completely made up that rule).

Pick: Jaguars +3.5

A win over the Texans will give the Jaguars their first three game winning streak since 2010

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