Friday, November 8, 2013

The Informer vs. The Question NFL Picks Challenge: Week 10

The Informer has a tendency to overreact when people don’t give the “Great One” Randy Moss his proper respects. By proper respects The Informer means saying Moss is the second (in my opinion the first) best WR in the history of the NFL.

Over the years The Informer has written at least fifty different articles/blogs/Facebook updates/ tweets on the subject so he will not go into loads of details right now; just know the only person who should be in the same sentence with Moss historically is Jerry Rice.

This brings us to last Monday when The Informer was listening to the Dave Dameshek podcast

(The Informer note - If you are a fan of the NFL, then The Informer highly recommends you take the hour each week to listen to Dave and Adam Rank recap all the Sunday games.)

So during the Week 9 recap, Dameshek opened the podcast talking about a vote they had on where 62 percent of the fans voted Detroit Lions WR Calvin Johnson as the second best WR in NFL history, while only 28 percent voted for Moss.

Needless to say The Informer was livid.

How in the bluest of “H.E. Double Hockey Sticks” could 62 percent of the people think at this point in his career Johnson was the second greatest WR the NFL has ever seen?

Listen, Johnson may very well one day go down as the greatest WR ever. In fact he is currently on pace to accomplish the feat, but let’s not overreact because the guy has had three and a half great years of football.

At this point in his career for someone to say Johnson is the greatest WR, not named Rice, is totally absurd.

Before you start saying things about Johnson’s physical gifts, work ethic and blah blah blah; here is a list of two wide receiver’s totals from their three best years in the league.

You tell me which guy you would rather have?

WR 1: 295 receptions    4765 yards 33 TD

WR 2: 333 receptions 4275 yards 34 TD

If you are asking The Informer he would probably say the second WR is better; since the guy has more catches and touchdowns; however a person could also conclude WR 1 is better because he has way more yards and only one less touchdown.

Either way we can all agree it is a close call, so for the sake of this argument why don’t we call it a draw? Is everyone on board with that?

Since we have established these two receivers are “kissing their sisters” when it comes to numbers, The Informer will now point out that Calvin Johnson’s three best statistical seasons in the NFL represent WR 1 (The Informer did not use this year’s numbers, although it should be noted Johnson is currently on pace for 94rec 1642 yards and 14 TD); while former Lions great Herman Moore’s three year stretch from 95-97, where he was one of the most dominant WR in the NFL, represents WR 2.

Here is my point: You don’t see anyone going around claiming Herman is the second best WR of all-time do you? The answer is no. The reason is because while Moore was great for a couple of seasons, he was unable to sustain that greatness over the rest of his career.

Again The Informer is not saying Johnson will not one day pass Moss on the WR hierarchy --with the way he is dominating the game it is more than possible --what The Informer is saying is we all need to take a deep breath for a second and let the guy be great for more than four seasons before we start making absurd claims.

Okay . . . The informer will promise that he is done ranting about Moss as long as the and their fans promise to issue the proper apology to "Randal Pink" Moss while announcing he is hands down the second greatest WR of all-time.

They can start their apology by having a week long "Randy-A-Thon" where they show nothing but old Moss games.

That is not too much to ask is it? The Informer is being reasonable in his overreaction right?

Maybe we should just move on.

It is a good thing The Informer has made a living segueing out of Moss rants so he knows exactly what to do next.

So without "Freddy Adu" here is “Week 10 of The Informer vs. The Question’s 2013 NFL Picks Challenge”? 


“The Question”

The Justin Blackmon suspension makes the Jacksonville Jaguars even more abysmal offensively.

If you look at the beginning of the season when Blackmon was suspended for the first 4 games, the Jaguars scored 31 points. For all you math majors that is less than eight points a game. 

When Blackmon came back the Jags offense improved to 13ppg over their next four games.

Basically, Blackmon was the only play-maker for this team and without him they might not score at all.

Take the Tennessee Titans, who have a pretty good defense and should have a field day against the hapless Jags.

Pick: Titans -11.5

“The Informer”

Last night the still in the playoff hunt Washington Redskins blew a 27-14 halftime lead to lose and not cover against the 1-7 Minnesota Vikings. Truth be told, after watching another one of his crappy picks bite the dust, The Informer once again felt like throwing in the towel on this season.

His picks have been so terrible that giving up was the only thing left to do. I mean if a guy can’t count on a so called “playoff-caliber” team to beat the lowly 1-7 Vikings; then what in the heck can he count on?

Thankfully, just before quitting, two totally irrelevant events happened to change The Informer’s mind.

First, while driving into work The Informer heard the Darius Rucker song “It won’t be like this for long” which reminded him that eventually the NFL would even out and his picks record would turn around (Famous last words of everyone who has ever made NFL picks).

The 2013 Jacksonville Baguars.
Secondly, and even more important than a Darius song, the  “Football Tebow” threw The Informer a bone by starting this week off with Jacksonville.

If there is one thing worse than The Informer’s picks this year –it is the Jags.

And if you have been like The Informer and rode the incompetence of Jacksonville all season, then you know there is nothing better for a person’s “Pick's Psyche” than a Jaguars game. 

Did you know Jacksonville has lost every single game this season by double digits? The Informer couldn’t make that stat up if he had to. Their closest game was a 19-9 loss against the Oakland Raiders.

There really is no reason why this line isn’t 17 points, but if Vegas wants to hand out free money The Informer is not going to stop them.

Pick: Titans -11.5


“The Question”

I am terrible this season picking the Philadelphia Eagles games (You could probably say I am terrible with picking every game, but you get the idea).  It seems like whenever I zig they zag and whenever I zag they zig.

Its pull your hair out frustrating.

Luckily my Mom’s dad, or my grandfather on my mother’s side (The side you get the hair gene from), had a full set of hair when he passed so I can pull for a while and not worry about turning into a Q-Ball.

With that in mind, this week I am a believer in Nick Foles as the Eagles should be able to stay with the Packers and their back up QB Seneca Wallace.

Do you guys remember Seneca Wallace? He was the former Iowa State quarterback who had one of the craziest touchdown runs in college history.

You all should definitely check it out if you are into awesome college football plays; I think he ran 75 yards to score from 25-yards out.

Despite being an awesome college QB ten years ago, I do not trust Wallace this week to beat an Eagle’s team that looks to have finally found its wings.

Pick: Eagles +1.5

“The Informer”

At the beginning of the season The Informer was very clear that this Green Bay Packers team would be very good: IF THEIR QB STAYED HEALTHY.

Make no mistake about it; a healthy Rodgers is going to win ten games every year, no matter how banged up or injured his team is.

Sure enough, just like The Informer predicted, as the season has been playing out Green Bay was on pace to get to their 10 wins and make the playoffs.

All of that changed last Monday night when Rodgers broke his collar bone. Now instead of being a nine point favorite at home, the Packers are basically in a pick’em situation with an Eagles team that is all of the sudden showing signs of life.

Normally due to the Rogers injury, The Informer would be jumping all over the Eagles in this game; however if the NFL has taught us anything this year, it is you never want to pick against a back-up quarterback at home.

And as a special bonus, if The Informer picks the Packers and they lose maybe that will set events in motion to get a certain retired, grey-haired, fun lovin son of a gun from Mississippi to come back into our lives.

Pick: Packers -1.5 (While hoping the “Good Tebow” upstairs will bring you know who back into our lives.)


“The Question”

With E.J. Manual back this is a no brainer.

The Buffalo Bills are the better team with Manuel at the helm. On the other hand the Pittsburgh Steelers D continues to look a step slow, while their offense is scary bad to watch.

The Bills played well enough to win last week even though they did not have the sharpest “Tuel” in the shed at QB so I think they will continue to play better now that they have their main hammer back.

Take the Bills; I wouldn’t be surprised if “The Miss Informer” decided to make this his Simba pick of the week. (P.S. - Don’t do it Informer, there are better teams out there than a 3-6 team on the road)

Pick: Bills +3

“The Informer”

Really Mr. Question, you are going to use name calling in this day and age?

Haven’t you learned anything this past week about bullying and how hurtful words can be? Since you apparently haven’t been keeping up with the 24-7 news cycle, let The Informer spell it out for you –BULLYING IS NOT OKAY.

Now as The Informer was saying; this is the Lion King Lock of the Week. Just kidding . . . But seriously The Informer really likes the Bills this week.

Pick: Bills +3


“The Question”

Does anyone know what to make of these two teams? The New York Giants won their last two games before the bye week to get to 2-6 while the Raiders just lost at home to an Eagles team everyone thought was bad by 100 points.

Now the Giants are favored by seven? I think that is too many points. I am thinking this line is a bit of an overreaction from the curb stomping the Raiders took last week.

Give me a little value as the Giants are not good enough this year to be favored by a touchdown.

Pick: Raiders +7

“The Informer”

The Informer has no idea why he is about to do this, so he is just going to remind the world that you can’t spell elite without Eli.

Pick: Giants -7


“The Question”

Who would have guessed the St. Louis Rams would be better off without Sam Bradford?

Just look at the past two weeks when the Rams have been in both of their games until the final possession. Sadly they have been unable to make a play at the end to get over the winning hump.

Then there are the Indianapolis Colts, who are a good squad with six wins, but they are not a team that has been blowing out their opponents.

Man I really need to start trusting Andrew Luck; it would be way more fun than continuing to doubt him.

Sadly for one more week if you want some “Andrew Luck Kool-Aid” you will just have to wait for what The Informer has to say; I am sure he is carrying his helmet right about now.

Take the Rams this week as they will hang tough.

Pick: Rams +9.5

“The Informer”

"Andrew Luck Kool-Aid" helmet?
Mr. Question are you implying that The Informer has a beer helmet (Think Happy Gilmore’s caddy) that he fills with “Andrew Luck Kool-Aid”?

Because The Informer will let you know he does not have an “Andrew Luck Kool-Aid” helmet, he has an “Andrew Luck Kool-Aid” beer mug.

As for your point, The Informer one hundred percent agrees that “The Question” needs to get on this Luck is the greatest bandwagon before it passes him by.

There is still plenty of time to join and don’t worry about being a new guy to the club, we on the “Andrew Luck is the greatest” bandwagon don’t believe in hazing the new members.

You will however be subject to; ridicule, jokes, threatening voice mails, name calling and if we really like you then at least four smacks with the sole pole Dazed and Confused style.

The Informer assures you, this innocent fun you will endure will all be worth it after you watch Luck lead his 11th game winning drive in 25 starts.

Naturally if the Colts are winning on the last drive, that means they are not covering the 9.5 points. Take the Colts to win, Rams to cover.

Pick: Rams +9.5


“The Question”

The weakness of the Seattle Seahawks team is their banged up starting offensive line, primarily their offensive tackle position. Tampa Bay exploited this weakness last week causing havoc early on in the game.

This week even as the Atlanta Falcons are getting healthier, their D-Line does not have the horses to give Seattle the same problems the Bucs D-Line did.

I would recommend staying away from this game as this is too many points to be giving the home team, but the Seahawks may be out looking for some revenge after being knocked out of the playoffs the last time they played in the Georgia Dome.

Pick: Seahawks -6

“The Informer”

At this point there really is no good reason to back the Atlanta Falcons. Between all the injuries and “Matty Ice” turning into Brandon Weeden, this Falcons team is a hot mess.

Seattle on the other hand has been hearing for two weeks how they are no longer the cream of the NFC crop because they have barely won their last two games.

The Informer is thinking this week the Hawks will play with a little attitude while trying to reestablish themselves as the top dog.

Pick: Hawks -6


“The Question”

Let me get this straight, one week the Cincinnati Bengals are world beaters laying 49 on a good New York Jets defense, the next they are making history by being victims to the third ever walk off overtime safety against the Miami Dolphins.

The ups and downs of this team do not make any sense to me.

Then again, the Bengals ups and downs actually describes the entire NFL this season; it truly is a season of anything can happen.

Even though they lost last Thursday, Cincinnati did get an extra few days to prepare while the Baltimore Ravens spent all week looking at themselves in the mirror after losing to the Cleveland Browns.

I am betting A.J. Green will go crazy against a pretty bad Ravens D and the Bengals will take care of business on the road.

Pick: Bengals -1.5

“The Informer”

If the Bengals are going to win the AFC North they really need to beat this Ravens team that is falling faster than a trey of spaghetti in the Miami cafeteria.

Bad hazing jokes aside; there is no reason to think the Ravens will win this game. The Bengals have a better offense, defense and they are not nursing a “Super Bowl Hangover.”

The smart move this week would be to take the Bengals and watch as they take a commanding division lead. Again there is absolutely no reason on “Tebow’s” green earth that the Ravens should win this game.

With all of that said; The Informer guarantees come Sunday he will be threatening to harm his T.V. because the Ravens will show up and play their best game of the season en-route to a thrilling home victory that makes absolutely no conceivable sense.

Seriously, The Informer hates the NFL.

Pick: Bengals -1.5


“The Question”

If the Detroit Lions were playing a team with a starting quarterback and that team was getting points I would definitely take the other team due to the Lions always making too many little mistakes that cost them games.

In other words Detroit can’t be trusted.

I do have one question for The Informer about this Lions team: Is Matthew Stafford an average quarterback being bailed out by the greatest wide receiver in the game or is it just me?

At the end of the day I am taking Detroit because I can’t back the Chicago Bears with a backup quarterback and a shaky at best D.

At the very least the Lions should be able to just out score Chicago.

Pick: Lions -2.5

“The Informer”

He was not a major upgarde.
Mr. Question the phenomenon you are talking about with Stafford is called the “Daunte Culpepper Conjecture”.

Do y’all remember back in the early 2000’s when Culpepper was an All-Pro quarterback?

Well the Culpepper is an All-Pro era all started because a certain WR named Moss was catching passes over three guys, or was being quadruple covered, so whenever Culpepper had to pass to someone not named Randy the guy was wide open. 

Because of this for about three years people in the sports world thought Culpepper was the best ever.

In their defense the guy was fast, he could throw and his stats were off the charts good. The problem was the more people started telling Culpepper how great he was, the more he started believing his own hype.

Soon enough instead of throwing deep to Randy at least two times a game (Both times would almost always lead to touchdowns of course), Culpepper started thinking he was the one making all the plays and thus instead of throwing it up to Moss he started routinely checking down to lesser talents.

Obviously this upset the great one to the point that he was eventually traded to the Raiders because like Culpepper --the Vikings front office forgot who made them great --so they put all their chips into the Culpepper is the reason we were good pot.

Well . . . Daunte played a total of seven games with the Vikings once Moss was traded. Yep soon after getting rid of “The Freak” Minnesota realized it was Moss --not Culpepper --who made Culpepper look great.

The Informer promises he is not making this up. The five years Culpepper played with Moss he averaged 252 yards passing per game and 25 passing touchdowns per season (With a career high 39 their last year together).

The five years after he no longer played with Moss, Culpepper threw more interceptions (32) than touchdowns (24).

What is the moral of this story?

If you are Matthew Stafford make sure you are thanking the “Megatron” on a weekly basis for making you look great. And Please for the love of "Tebow" do not start getting cocky thinking you are the reason for the success –The Informer assures you that you are not.

As for Sunday, this feels like a game the Lions always lose.

Pick: Bears +2.5


“The Question”

This is the first Niners game I am excited to watch in a few weeks. I am excited to see how the San Francisco 49ers will handle playing against the Carolina Panthers front seven, which is arguably the best in the NFL.

The Panthers front seven has been keeping them in games while their offense has started clicking, with Cam Newton gaining confidence and making better decisions each and every week.

Even though Carolina is much improved, this week I see the Niners chugging along and taking care of business at home. The Panthers have proved they are good against bad teams, but they are not ready to play against the big boys.

Also the Panthers will be sorely outcoached in this one.

Pick: Niners -6

“The Informer”

One of The Informer’s numerous rules he lives his life by is: Anytime Ron Rivera is on the road against a Jim Harbaugh coached team coming off the bye week, you take the Jim Harbaugh coached team.

Just for fun here are a few other Informer rules:

Never under any circumstances bet against Brian Hoyer, when ordering a sandwich from Blimpies never order anything but the Blimpie Best on white bread, never drink Miller Lite . . . Not even if there is a fire, always pick Peyton Manning in prime-time, never cross the streams unless you are saving the world from the evil spirit Gozer, always talk in the third person, Brett Favre, if its yellow let it mellow, never watch more than 8 hours of Dora the Explorer in a single day (trust me on this one) and last but not least The Informer always lives his life a quarter-pounder . . . err . . . mile at a time.

Pick: 49ers -6


“The Question”

The Houston Texans getting 2.5 on the road against an Arizona Cardinals team should be easy money –right?

I am hoping for a little “Kubiak-Strong” momentum to help put this Texans team back on track for a game.

Pick: Texans +2.5

“The Informer”

In all seriousness The Informer hopes Gary Kubiak and John Fox regain full health and are able to come back and do their jobs without any fear of further risks to their health.

As for the game, there is no way The Informer is picking against the new Brett Favre getting points on the road.

If you are worried about Wade Phillips taking over the head coaching job, you can take solace in the fact that Philips has seven seasons with a record of .500 or better and only two seasons where he was under .500.

The Informer is thinking we will get the good Philips this week while Case Keenum does Case Keenum things and leads the Texans to the road victory.

Pick: Texans +2.5


“The Question”

The San Diego Chargers are a sneaky good team and can score points against average to poor defenses.

Guess what the Broncos have? That is right an average to poor defense. I get the fighting Manning’s are coming off of a bye week, but so are the Chargers and they are at home getting seven with a potent offense.

I will take the points this week.

Pick: Chargers +7

“The Informer”

Last time Denver played in San Diego they fell behind 24-0 before scoring 35 unanswered points to win their first of 16 straight regular season games.

So look for the Chargers to come out and dominate early in this game while Manning tries to get back in rhythm, followed by Manning and the Donkeys blowing San Diego out in the second half for an easy road cover.

Pick: Broncos -7


“The Question”

This should be a fun game as the Dallas Cowboys will keep it close before melting down in the final quarter to lose by six. Sorry Dallas, it’s just the way it goes for your Cowboys team.

You have the offensive threats to stay in the game against anyone in the NFL, but for whatever reason you just can’t seem to get over the hump and get the victory.

The New Orleans Saints on the other hand will be explosive offensively after being limited last week against a stifling Jets defense.

I think the Saints will have a breath of fresh air against a weaker D this week, but due to the Cowboys always playing to their competition I recommend taking Dallas.

Pick: Cowboys +6.5

“The Informer”

Drew Brees in prime-time sounds a lot like Peyton Manning in prime-time. Believe it or not, the same rules apply.

Also this is The Informer’s “Lion King Lock of the Week”.

You are welcome Cowboy fans.

Pick: LKLOTW Saints -6.5


“The Question”

Apparently ESPN didn’t pay the NFL enough to get an actual game for Monday Night Football.

It is pretty obvious NBC has the lockdown on good games and great intros, thanks to Carrie Underwood taking over the duties for Faith Hill.

Honestly, I would love to have a cup of coffee with Carrie, and I don’t even drink coffee.

Alright this game features the Bullying Dolphins vs. the Staph Infection Bucs.

I personally will be watching The Blacklist on Monday Night instead of this abysmal game; nonetheless if you must watch, or pick someone to cover, I think the Dolphins should take care of business regardless of the past week’s scandal.

Again this is a dreadful stay-away/enter at your own risk type of game.

Pick: Dolphins -2.5

“The Informer”

When The Informer was in the fourth grade he moved to a new town and school. After about three weeks at this new school he met a couple of friends who invited him over to play after school football.

The Informer was pretty stoked because at that time he was considered by many to be the next Jerry Rice, so getting a chance to play football with his fellow classmates meant he would be able to show off his superior football skills.

When The Informer arrived at his new friend’s house he found out the hard way he was not there to play football.

What actually happened was his three new buddies held The Informer down, stripped him buck-naked and then proceeded to lock him outside. Yes this was in broad daylight in the middle of town.

The Informer being the cool next Jerry Rice that he was did not run home and cry for help, instead he did what any other fourth grader would do in that situation; he laid down in the fetal position and cried for thirty five minutes until his buddies finally decided to give him his “Raider’s Zumba” pants back.

Some may say this was cruel and unusual punishment and that the three boys (We have all been friends for 20+ years) should have been sent away to hate sensitivity camp. Now while The Informer agrees they all should have been charged with some kind of crime, at the end of the day the hazing helped build character and The Informer has had no ill side effects of that scarring to this day.

If you think about it, without being initiated into his new group of friends there is no telling what path The Informer may have chosen.

Heck he could have ended up developing a terrible “Natty Light” addiction that made him go crazy while assuming an alter ego who only speaks in the third person.

Furthermore, The Informer could have been so scarred by those events that he would have started having conversations with the figments of his imagination while begging for attention from hundreds of people that he has never met in real life (@therealinformer only needs 900,003 more followers to reach his goal of 900,600 followers).

But none of that happened. The Informer turned out great despite being tortured and humiliated as a fourth grader.

“Informer what are you talking about? Every article you write brings up the fact that you have had to many “Natty Lights” while talking exclusively in the the third person. Not to mention that right now you are having a conversation with yourself in the middle of an article in which you will beg hundreds of people you have never met to “Re-Tweet”. If anything you are living proof that some hazing maybe fun, but over doing it is dangerous and not okay.

Ummmm . . . You know what, maybe we should just forget the above story all together?

Listen if what Richie Incognito allegedly did/said is true; then he was wrong and needs to be man enough to admit he was wrong and apologize.

Unfortunately at this point due to lawyers being involved it is going to be hard for him to do that.

So most likely what is going to happen is each network will spend hours of coverage Sunday on whether or not Incognito was wrong and how there is no room for hazing in the NFL which will ultimately lead to Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith arguing to the death on live T.V.

Don’t worry though; eventually the storm will pass and then we will all realize the Dolphins-Bucs are playing on Monday Night Football.

Talk about cruel and unusual hazing.

Pick: Tampa Bay +2.5

Oh yea . . . The Informer almost forgot. 

Hey Mr. Question since you love Carrie Underwood so much, here is a link of Underwood dancing provocatively in scantily clad clothing in her upcoming guest role on the great NBC show The Blacklist.

By now you all should know where this is going . . .

Enjoy Week 10 everyone.

Thanks to some good advice from Darius Rucker, The Informer is confident Week 10 is going to be his first winning week of the year.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...